I have 15 days left to be 49 then that's it I officially go back to being 40, according to the media 50 is the new 40 so I am going backwards and I am allowed to. Things are happening with my partner and children and there is a lot of whispering and going silent when I enter a room. Friends from work are looking at me strangely, don't know why. All I know is the 6th December at the Portman Hotel, Bournemouth is going to be an excellent night and I am really looking forward to that bit, its the rest of it I'm not.

When I was young (I mean a small child) 50 was ancient and my nana Daines held her boobs up with the ties on her floral apron, whilst moaning about anything and treating me like a small child (seen but not heard all the time). There were still Edwardian values and my family stuck to them rigidly, but I was happy and remember them with fondness. Unfortunately my mum June died at the tender age of 36 (that was old then). Now I am old and hopefully I will enjoy my last days in my 40's and still say words like cool and freaky when I want to with out being looked at by others. I will continue to work 2 jobs and buy a new house next year with Ali (my partner) and we will be happy. My kids are grown up now and make me feel well old.......